Empire Ants
by TFSyndicate
Summary: Noodle's returned to Plastic Beach. So why isn't Murdoc happy? HINT: It's got something to do with lil' Cyborg. (NOTE: Headcanon set after the "Rhinestone Eyes" storyboard)


It was a long time before anyone spoke, or made a move at all. The pirates were gone for the day, the building was in need of repair (not really in ruins), the whale was eaten. Everyone left was gathered in a circle near one end of the island. For the first time, the robot replacement was standing before… who she was originally supposed to be replacing.  
Noodle was staring thoughtfully at the "Cyborg" her. 2D was at a safe distance away, shivering with fear, his clown mask halfway on (For 2D, this confrontation looked scarier than the whale). Murdoc was gone, he took off for his secret room with all the security monitors. Russel, who brought Noodle here, looked down on the crowd with his giant head. The others on the island were the guest stars (who were working on their share of the album at the time), waiting for something exciting to happen.  
Finally, movement. The cyborg opened her mouth and out came a gun barrel. Immediately, Noodle reached in one of her pockets and pulled out a flower. She inserted it root-first into Cyborg's gun barrel, jamming it. Cyborg tried to fire, but the gun barrel exploded out of existence. It was the last bullet in her anyway. The cyborg closed her mouth, already missing the cylinder-shaped thing that used to be lodged beneath her tongue.  
As Murdoc saw the whole thing unfold from the security cameras, he got furious. She was malfunctioning more than she already was! Then the unthinkable happened: Cyborg leaned forward and gave Noodle… a hug. Everybody's jaws dropped. This was so un-Cyborg, they thought. Then they heard her say something, something they also didn't expect her to say.  
"Mommy."

Two days and one pretty quick building renovation later...

Murdoc and Bobby Womack (the guest singer on "Stylo") left the studio and into the study, Bobby walking toward the eleva...errr...lift, Murdoc to the large globe containing his liquor stash.  
"Good work today, Murdoc" said Bobby.  
"You tew," Murdoc called back, "See ya tomorrah."  
The lift doors opened and closed. Bobby disappeared (for the underwater guest room), and in his place on the study floor was Noodle. She walked over to the lounge chairs placed before the pull-down flatscreen. Over here was Cyborg cleaning the windows, and doing a pretty good job too. Murdoc turned away from his liquor globe and saw the two Noodles within eyesight.

"Ah, juss the purrsen I wanna speak tew," he began.  
"Windows are done, master," Cyborg interrupted, "Should I go downstairs and recharge?"  
"Actually, this involves you too. Now ave uh seet."  
Noodle and Cyborg sat down in adjoining lounge chairs. Murdoc swore he saw their pinkies touching. :3  
"Alright," Murdoc began again, "Now Newdull, while I am appy that you're back, I don't think you fully understand why we yave Cyborg ere."  
"No, I understand," said Noodle, "You thought I was dead since we shot the music video for 'El Manana', and you tried to make it seem like it never happened."  
"Well, obviously you're not ded. Acshully, it's more like as to whethuh or nawt Cyborg understands what's going on here. She's your clone, not your dawtuh."  
"But you used my DNA."  
Murdoc was speechless. For the first time, he encountered somebody who had the courage to snag the upper hand in an argument. Suddenly he got a gut feeling that now two of their fingers are touching.  
"Uhhhh...There's only rewm for wan Newdull in this band...uhhh?"  
" _What?_ " said Noodle, "Did you really think that we'd fight each other to the death/dismantlement just because she tried to shoot you?"  
"Uhh...Yeah...that's what I told everyone on Twittuh..." Now there were beads of sweat forming, and he was getting even more cross, "But she DID try to shewt mey!"  
Finally Cyborg spoke up, "I didn't want Mommy to come to harm. Never did, never will." Now three fingers were touching.  
" _SHE'S NAWT YER MUMMEH!_ " Murdoc yelled.  
"I have her DNA."  
Now Murdoc was really losing it.  
"Well, I don't care wot you think of each othuh. I still say one of yew has to go," Now the whole of Noodle and Cyborg's hands were on top of each other, "Preferably Cyborg, cause that's what I said on Twittuh."  
Noodle stood up and walked closer to Murdoc until he was up against the window. Then Cyborg jumped up and piggy-backed on "mommy".  
"Has it ever occurred to you that this wouldn't be a problem if you let Gorillaz have two guitarists?"  
Murdoc couldn't believe what Noodle was saying, but he knew he had to counter with something.  
"Name _WAN_ BAND that has _two_ guitarists," he declared.  
The two Noodles looked at each other and said in unison "The Beatles."  
There was a long pause. "Anothuh wun."  
"The Rolling Stones" Unison again. Murdoc was starting to crack. He _idolized_ Keith Richards.  
"One more."  
"The Clash." More unison. Then suddenly Murdoc remembered that he booked them to guest on a track.  
"UGH!" said Murdoc, dropping to his knees, "Oh, alrite. Yew win. Now _sumbuddeh_ git me sum _rahm_!"

Noodle couldn't help but feel sorry for Murdoc. It was officially the first time he lost in a heated argument. Under his breath, he was cursing Artificial Intelligence. She went to the globe and pulled out a bottle of the liquid that bore the most resemblance to rum, and carried it to Murdoc. He snatched the bottle and took a giant swig. Noodle took the bottle back, and decided to take a swig herself. She never drank before, but she had been meaning to start since the day the others thought she was dead.  
"Thanks," said Murdoc, "I needed that. And I'm sorreh I got inna fit over yew.  
Obviously, this was the booze taking, but to be fair, Noodle was drunk too.  
"There there," Noodle cooed, "Everything's gonna be all right."  
Another swig for Murdoc. Now a proposition: "Lissen, I 'ave this track called 'Umpire Awnts'. I originally booked Little Dragon to play onnit, but they bocked out. How would you like to sing onnit? You can let Cyborg join yeu if it makes ya 'appy."  
Noodle took another swig, and kissed Murdoc on the cheek. So did lil' Cyborg. Murdoc wiped off both kiss marks.  
"Awrite. I'll take that azza yesss," he said.  
Suddenly the lift doors opened. A man with a guitar walked through the study, through the studio doors. Murdoc and Noodle could hear the man say "EVERYBODY OUT!". 2D and a handful of (kidnapped) session musicians hurried their way out of the studio, quickly filling every area of the study. The man shut the studio doors and locked them, and a red light above the doorway began flashing.  
"Who was that?" asked Noodle  
"Lou Reed."


End file.
